A special day

I love birthdays! I love making people feel loved and cherished on the day they were born. It's a celebration for me too because I am blessed to have them in my life. Today I am overwhelmed with my love for Wyatt and how he made me love Jesus more. I know that his Father gave him a way better party than we ever could have. I can't wait to see his face and hug his neck again.

We miss you buddy, more than words can say!

From the north

Although I took my camera to the hospital to see Zeke, I didn't take any pictures. So I don't have any of him or him and I. As much as I love him, I only have a few pictures of Wyatt. This has been a real struggle for me. I have expressed this strongly to Gabriel to take as many pictures of his father as he can. I know they will mean a lot to him and his family.

When my recent travels landed me in Spokane, Washington (home of the Kellmer's); I was beyond honored when they asked me to take their family pictures.

Here are some other landmarks of my trip...

The beautiful falls of Spokane

You can see the gondola under the arch

I forgot to undo the zoom, but Gabe is actually smiling in this one

Some of the ravishing reds of Idaho

With such a quick trip, there wasn't much time for photos...I'm trying to get some good ones while Gabe was driving. Problem was...

so was he!

Some orange and yellow



It was a good trip, hard to leave, but good to come home.

Say Cheese!

I may be a vegetarian, but I love good animal products. Don't get me wrong, if it ever had eyes, I just don't eat it. However if the animal is still living and I get to partake of it's byproducts you'll find me digging in. I try to stay away as much as possible for health reasons, but one thing I love is CHEESE!

I find myself today in the lovely city of Portland, Oregon with a very dear friend of mine. We are having a delightful time. We indulged for lunch today and enjoyed grapes, bread and cheese, including some of my favs: Mozzarella, Gouda and Jarlsberg. I love Gouda because of the smoked flavor and Jarlsberg for the texture as well as the light Swiss flavor and Mozzarella for the melting capabilities (although we didn't do that today). Yum! 

Here's Mary and I enjoying each other's company.  

Empty

Funny thing pain. It makes you act differently, it makes you think differently. It hurts. I don't like it. I don't like feeling alone. I don't like wanting to blog about something so someone, somewhere, just might read it and care. I don't like when I can see my own flaws and insecurities and not be able to fix them. I don't like pain, I don't like feeling alone. I don't like hurt or rejection. I don't like being not good enough. I don't like being forgotten.  I don't like that I don't like it, all of it, any of it. I wish I were stronger, tougher, had thicker skin.

I don't like when I try to embrace what I want to change it gets harder.

I do love the L-rd. I do trust Him. Even though I'm mad, even though I hurt real bad inside somehow I keep asking for more. I keep trusting. How can I keep trusting...I have so many reasons to not trust. It would be easier to just stop trusting.

I want change, but I want a change of season. I want happy, loving, and whatever is the opposite of rejection...I could really use a lot of that right now. Come on L-rd, seriously, where is it?