I don't know why things happen the way they do. I seek my G-d daily to understand and know Him better. But at the end of the day, He is still bigger, greater and too lofty for me to ever understand. His ways and thoughts are higher than mine...for everyone, not just me.
It amazes me that He can love my friends, family and my patients so much infinitely greater than I ever can imagine. I love deeply, sometimes so much it hurts. He told me recently that He made me "to love and let go." I've learned that sometimes that means losing a friend to another state or country or even just less time together. Sometimes it means letting go until I see them in the world to come. Whatever it means I feel like the L-rd has blessed me to know His heart of love in a way that also causes me to hurt when I have to let go.
I am blessed! Some days I feel this road is harder to walk than others, but, I don't want to turn back, I don't want a different road. I want to love. I want to love with everything in me.
I am blessed to do a job that not everyone is called to do. I get to spend my days getting paid to love and help families fight for the lives of their children. I get to wake up at 2:30 in the morning because the dad of one of my patients requested that I be called when things aren't looking good. I get to stand by their side and love them and their little ones.
I don't know His ways, I don't know why He calls little ones home so soon. HE IS FAITHFUL. I will always love Him more than I could ever love anyone else. I love that He loves and made me to love. I love my Daddy!
May everything I do bring Him glory, may I be a good representation of Him everyday of my life, may I continue to learn how to love like the Father.
I may speak the tongues of men, even angels
but if I lack love, I have become merely
blaring brass or a cymbal clanging.
I may have the gift of prophecy,
I may fathom all mysteries, know all things,
have all faith - enough to move mountains;
but if I lack love, I am nothing.
Love is patient and kind, not jealous, not boastful
not proud, rude or selfish, not easily angered,
and it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not gloat over other people's sins
but takes its delight in the truth.
Love always bears up, always trusts, always hopes, always endures.
Love never ends; but prophecies will pass,
tongues will cease, knowledge will pass.
For our knowledge is partial, and our prophecy partial,
but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass.
When I was a child, I spoke like a child,
thought like a child, argued like a child;
now that I have become a man,
I have finished with childish ways.
For now we see obscurely in a mirror,
but then it will be face to face.
Now I know partly; then I will know fully,
just as G-d has fully known me.
But for now, three things last -
trust, hope, love;
and the greatest of these is love.
Pursue love!
