Little buddy

I love kids in general, but sometimes certain ones find their way into my heart like none of the others. I met one of those little guys about 3 weeks ago. He's had a rough go of it, and many times I've been with him for those really hard times. He held onto my finger one day when he was having a particularly rough go of it. That's when I really let go of my heart. His parents aren't around much and I held him and cuddled him when he got better. I go see him as much as I can and I'm a goner...I'm really in love.

Usually when kids have the same issues he does we don't give them a long life expectancy and usually the whole time they are on earth they fight...hard. He's been fighting hard but it doesn't look promising. 

However, I serve a G-d that does miracles. I serve a G-d that gives good gifts. And I serve a G-d that hears our cries. I'm fighting for a miracle for my little buddy. I've been asking for a new heart. A creative miracle and a complete and total new heart. That's what he needs to make it.

Recently a kid came to see us who was told he didn't have a chance. His mom didn't agree. She told everyone she knew he would be ok. She stood her ground. Then there he came, miracle child. I totally believe the L-rd healed him...there's no medical way he should be here the way he is now.

I know we don't understand the L-rd and I know He could certainly do miracles in all the children but for some reason that's not what He does. Whatever happens I'm still going to know He is sovereign, but, I'm going to stand my ground. I'm fighting for my little buddy. I'm asking big...for a new heart, a complete and total miracle. Please fight with me. He deserves to be fought for. And I want the people I work with to see the G-d I serve. 

It's ok if you don't want to know

I love my job. Love, love my job, but sometimes it's hard. People don't want to know about when it's hard, because it makes them sad. Today I feel alone. 

Today was hard. Really hard. I'm a verbal processor. What do I do with that? I guess I don't know who cares to know so I'm saying it here, where I don't know who will know.

Kids are a blessing, and I love them. I know too many of them that are already with Yeshua. I miss Wyatt. Wyatt is a great name. It's a strong name. I'm glad I knew him. I miss other kids too. I hurt for other parents that have to say goodbye too soon. Sometimes that is the part that hurts the most. I'm thankful I get to work with so many people that care so much.

Boasting on my beloved

Thanksgiving was hard...I wasn't prepared. I knew I would need more time with the L-rd and I had less. I didn't put on my armor. I didn't do warfare, and I was on a serious battleground. I did some things right. I did a lot of things wrong. I got home and I was wrestling pretty hard inside.

Sunday morning...serious time with Yeshua. I felt better, I repented. I will do warfare in the future. I will remember to put on my armor. I will be prepared. Thank you Father for letting this lesson not be bigger than it could have been.

I was still feeling yuck. I kept asking for a new...something. I know His mercies are new every morning, I know I'm forgiven. But it was my dang emotions. I wanted to FEEL clean.

I've been hanging out with my roommate lately, it's been a real blessing. I really like her. I'm thankful for her. She goes to a small community called the gathering. I've been going, mostly because I want the relationship with her, but I have no emotional ties there...yet. Sunday she was still out of town but, I wanted to go, really bad. Thanks to life, it was a difficult day to get there, but I made it.

The worship blessed my heart. The message was incredible. Forgiveness, the L-rd's prayer, Mathew 18 - 70x7, the king's forgiveness. I kept feeling the presence of the L-rd...holding back the tears. Practical ways to live out forgiveness. SO GOOD!

I felt clean. I had a great day yesterday, worshiping the L-rd. Basking in the overflow. I am so blessed to be loved by Him. Then, small thing, I wrote on Jon Thurlow's facebook wall that I wanted to hear the Peter song. A song he wrote about Peter denying the L-rd. It's powerful, but it's not on any album, and he doesn't play it much. So sometimes I ask him...via facebook, to please play it, and eventually he does.

This morning I woke up and got ready, I sat down at my computer, turn on the prayer room webstream. Jon is playing, I start to enter in. Then...he plays it. The Peter song. Instant tears. Presence of the L-rd, so strong. I'm undone!

L-rd, You're so good. You love me so well. You know my heart. I'm so in love with You.

May the L-rd bless you with the little things that will make your heart feel alive. May you know that you are His beloved, and that He delights to bless your socks off. May you feel Him, right now and be blessed.

More Zade

I forgot I had this treasure...I'm home sick today...so lots of computer time. I'm learning how to use my camera for filming...so it's not great. But you'll get the point.

Enjoy!

Just in case

...you're not on facebook, I need to share this darling love of mine.

In the words of Melissa Yoh.....YOU'RE WELCOME!

Work

So...here's another work video. I'm actually in this one

CMH

Timing

It's interesting to me how typically it seems one may learn more about the L-rd through times of trouble, than in times blessing. Lately, I've realized that His timing is perfect. Yes, this is something many people say often, but I'm kind of undone. He is so amazing, and in so many more ways than one. 

Several weeks ago I went to only the last few minutes of a class at church. The lovely ladies I joined in the end of their meeting were talking about Mary and Martha. They were discussing the preciousness of what it actually meant for Mary to pour out her perfume on Jesus' feet. How much it cost, how special her gift was, and what it meant for her to give up something so valuable. It made me desire to pour out my own perfume on His feet. But what is my perfume? What is something I hold that dear to me, what would cost me that much? 

So I asked Him...what is my perfume? It took a few times asking and a little dialogue between Him and I but, He showed me, for me, my perfume is my time. So, I decided to give Him October. Here were the rules. I wasn't allowed to do anything for anyone else. (That's usually where I make the biggest mistake, over-committing, and doing things for the wrong reason) No facebook, daily time with the L-rd, and I had to ask Him what to do with the rest of my time. 

It was difficult the first few days, getting used to not wasting time on computer games or facebook, or anything else that was wasteful. I asked Him to become my One thing, I wanted to long for Him, more than I long for anything else. As I truly gave Him my time, all I wanted to do was be with Him. He really started changing my heart. 

As I give my time to Him, He's cleaning me out...not exactly what I was expecting, but when you spend time in the light, it makes it easier to see the dirt, I guess. It's been good so far. It's had hills and mountains, but, He's been faithful to draw near to my heart. He's preparing me for huge changes that are about to take place and He's gracious to deal with my evil nature and make me more like Himself. He's healing my heart, and exposing things that I need to work through. It's hard, it's good, it makes me love Him, and realize....His timing is perfect. He takes us through the right battles at the right time, He gives us the valleys at the right time, He gives us the victories and the losses at the right time. He's with us all the time.

Although, I will be changing the way I spend my time after this month, I am giving Him November too. I'm sorry if you wanted me to do something for you, I'll be back, and hopefully my motives will be different, hopefully making me easier to love. I hope!

So what is your perfume? Can you pour it on His feet? Can you trust that His timing is perfect?

Today

Just missing the TBlakes!

Little Cass took the photo below

Zader

When Zade was born I nearly fell apart because I didn't think I could be there. I stopped all other plans and made it happen. On the way to the hospital I felt like the L-rd told me that we would be close. I was really excited about that, for many reasons. When I came back from Israel I cried when I saw him. I love him a lot. I just wanted to say that, he makes my heart happy and he loves me well.

Mayim, mayim, besason

Eliana was singing last night and after much tribulation I captured it on video. Please enjoy. At one point Eric is coaxing her behind the camera to sing mayim. She then says mayim quite emphatically. Then after he tells her what he's trying to communicate...she gets it.

Eliana's beautiful song

I love her so much!

Work

This is a video made by my hospital about one of our cardiac surgeons. It shows a little of what I get to experience at work and one of the perks of my job. It's about 6 min long and I hope it will give you a better picture of a tiny piece of what I do.


Jack's heart

POTD - December

Here it is the last month

Enjoy

POTD - November

My photo editing website is closing so I had to get all these done..sorry it took me so long, but here's November

Enjoy

POTD - October

That's right folks...a little late, but here it is

As always, the larger versions are on the tab at the top...Month 10 photos

Enjoy

For the TBlakes

I promise I will post many more pictures to come but nothing is decorated and I'm just getting there so for now here's some photos of the hole in my wall to tide you over till then. I wish you were here to see it and celebrate it with me. I love you guys!

 My dad noticed that the doorway on the opposite entry was not framed. So he framed it when he framed the window as well. Making it look more "finished."

I'll get some more pics from the other side and when it's all decorated. The window really opens it up though. It makes the living room and the kitchen both feel huge. It also really updates the house. Next steps are to get a new oven, new counter tops and cabinets. It's nice in the mean time, but I can't wait till it's all finished. 

It's a...

Zadok David Simon was born 1/27/12 weighed a whopping 9lbs 2oz and is 20" long

Check him out

Mom and baby are doing great

 Please pray Eliana gets well soon so she doesn't give anything to her little bro.
They are hopefully going home tomorrow. He has had more visitors, but these are the only ones I captured.

If you haven't met him yet, he can't wait to see your face.